I took the keys.

Six weeks ago, I took his keys. 
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And in a way, his independence. 

He was ready, and so were we. And yet, we weren't. How is that possible?

The doctor said that Dad wasn't able to drive anymore. That, due to another heart event, it wasn't safe for him or anyone else. I couldn't tell him alone and so instead of bringing my husband, I brought my five year old son. 

I made him ask Grandpa for his keys.

See, we knew that if the keys still lived with Dad, that he would use them. That his memory is so impaired that he would drive because he forgot he couldn't. Or, even if he did remember, that the temptation to get wherever he wanted to go would be too great. So to keep him safe, we needed to take them. 

"Grandpa," my son asked, "Mommy needs your keys."

Dad looked at me and smiled half-heartedly. His head hung as he went to retrieve the two sets from his table. "Here you go, sweetie," he muttered, "I don't want to be like your Grandpa and give them up too late, so take them now."

"Dad, it's only for six months," I replied.

"We both know that's not true," he finished.

And he's right. We both know that his freedom is now restricted even more, and perhaps this should have happened a while ago. We don't want to jinx it or say it out loud, but we both know his body and brain will get worse, not better. We know this chapter is closed, and it hurts.

Logically, I know that this is for his safety and everyone within a 10km radius that he might actually drive. I get that and the last thing I would want is for anyone to get hurt. And yet I sit here thinking of all the car conversations we've had. All the Golden Arches that have been consumed by the two of us as we drive from one ball park to another. How the man that taught me to drive, can no longer. 

Dramatic, yes...maybe slightly.

This is the start, I can feel it. Of something new and different for us. Maybe bad, maybe good - that's to be determined. But it's a new stage for the two of us. And like any good GPS, we will navigate it together. And it's time to load the Uber app onto his phone.

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